Born to lie??

Well, I know that there are a lot  of professional liars out there. Politicians, for example, are one big sham after another. Anyone who tries to make everyone happy all of the time has to be a liar, otherwise it simply can’t be done. But remember, all of you out there, your lies always catch up with you, eventually.

This topic came to me the other day, when my four-year-old told me (what I’ve since learned is) a “defensive” lie. She didn’t want to get in trouble. I did my research and found that this is a common problem. As I thought more about the subject, however, I remembered that she has lied to me before, but I let the little ones go, back then. I figured that this was a natural part of childhood and I ignored it in the hopes that she would lie less if I didn’t warrant them much attention. As she gets older, I realize that this is absurd. Why should lying be a natural part of childhood? Because they see so many adults do it? Or is it ingrained? I would love to understand the neuroscience of it, and I promise there will be a follow-up, as soon as I do some research. I wanted to get the emotional part of it off of my chest and help other parents deal with the urge their four-year-olds probably feel to lie and make up stories.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

This is one of my favorite quotes. Period. It’s so succinct.

I’ve learned that children (especially around this age) make up crazy, fantastic stories rather often. I also found a couple of wonderful solutions from a seasoned mother of six. It’s difficult for kids, at this age, to distinguish reality from fantasy. When this occurs and they tell a ridicullous story as though it were true, you have a couple of options. It’s important not to be too harsh; let them know better without making them feel like they’re crazy. You can join in. If your child says s/he saw a bear on the racetrack when s/he was driving his/her race car (real life example, by the way), you can say something like, “Oh, yeah, me too. He was big and fluffy and yellow…”. It forces them to face the fact that they made it up, even if they do start to wonder about your sanity. Or, you can gently redirect, by injecting bits of reality into the fantasy. Using the same story, you can ask something like, “Oh my gosh, did the bear jump off the racetrack when he saw you?”.

With defensive lies, the best thing to do is to sit down with your child and make him/her admit to the misdeed. It’s the most positive and effective way to correct the behavior.

I, honestly, wish we were hard-wired not to lie. But, then again, I’m pretty damn lofty, that way.

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Ok, ok, so I’m a little bit late…

…plus, everyone else is already blogging about it. I don’t usually get political, so I was going to be a gentlewoman and leave this one alone. That is, I was, until I stumbled across this (from an Aunt I used to think was an intelligent, logical, strong woman) on Facebook…

Jody O’Donnell Stinson to Gloria Holmes Cooper
“I do know that many women claim ‘rape’ when indeed it was consensual but later she had second thoughts to save face or get revenge for later being spurned.” I saw this on Roger’s page, written by you. It made me sick. It is people who think (and speak) like this that make girls and women AFRAID to speak out when they have been raped or molested. I KNOW too many who have dark secrets about being harmed and are too afraid to say a word out of fear that they will not be believed because the person was “a good person” and “could never do that”. These people live every day alone with the hurt. I’m not going to sit here and argue my case, I know you will have a billion things to throw at me attempting to defend your statement. I just wanted to stand up for all those who HAVE been hurt and say something because too many times people say nothing at all.Gloria Holmes Cooper: You have your thoughts about it and nothing I can say would change it. You take an example and run with that like it is the whole story. Sheesh! I was a juror at a rape trial. The guy got convicted, but believe me there were extenuating circumstances. Why do you think girls were so protected in the past and wore modest clothing? To thwart them or to protect them? These days molestation and date rape are epidemic. Gee I wonder why?

Julia Gulia: I think I’m going to throw up. There are a lot of things going through my mind right now, but all I will say is that you just lost ALL my respect, Gloria, in implying that any girl, anywhere, is ever “asking for it.” Surprise, surprise… I agree wholeheartedly with Jody. What that right wing nitwit said about “legitimate rape” makes me want to slap him in the face with a prison penis.

* By the way, I am Julia Gulia in this scenario*
She had posted this comment in response to the now infamous Todd Akin quote, which was (in case you’ve been in a fallout shelter for the past two days): “First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
It has been proven (by modern science, not Jesus) that a woman can get pregnant without having an orgasm, as it seems that this is what he tried to imply. It has also been proven that men have immediate access to two hands and a bottle of lotion. Rape, if you ask me, is inexcusable, by any means.
I’m not going to share my views on abortion. They are akin to George Carlin’s; we’ll leave it at that. A moral aversion to abortion is NO excuse to allow for moral ambiguity on behalf of rape victims. An average rape sentence is eight years, for the offender.
You do the math, for the victim’s average rape sentence.

The Olympics

I guess it’s only natural to feel proud of/for/with your country when the Olympics begin. We watch sports we forgot were sports, we root for people we’ve never met as though they were our sons and daughters. We forget that we have ever been divided by race, religion, or sexual preference. We laugh together, we hope for each other, we love, again. It’s like Christmas (without all the suicides) and I wish we could achieve this greatness; the epitome of humanity at its best; always, instead of relegating unity to certain times of the year/years.